Dear Abbie, Is my wedge an acceptable replacement for my mindless troll sponsor?

This whole flap about bi-winner Charlie has been nothing less than an entertainment phenom. Despite the urge to become mindless trolls, some AA’s see merit to the rants.

AA saved my life every day since walking through the doors, so its always more beneficial to focus on the positive. Our literature never suggests we should become judgemental, arrogant or condescening, yet just about any AA can cite different times when they’ve been subjected to this behavior in meetings. Just about everyone that walks through the door has a lot of growing up to do, and sometimes its the beginner or someone on a relapse that points that out. How embarrasing!

The past few years I’ve been truly interested in the opinions of the disenfranchised that take aim at our fellowship. Bonafide criticism is sometimes hard to seperate from nonsense. Behind the hurt feelings and resentment, I frequently see an element of truth to what they say.

One talk I heard from a circuit speaker Keith L. in my early days talked of an amends he made to the Roman Catholic Church. While making amends to an elderly priest, Keith said the priest stopped him and said, “Its not you who owe me, but I who owe you amends. For all too long, I was comfortable with those that supported me, but never went after those who were lost.” That message has stuck with me. I see that in AA. Those who are detractors or resentful at our wonderful fellowship can be shunned or treated with anger. We react when we need to be loving and understanding. We reject those who don’t accept AA.

For this drunk, its much more fun to crack jokes about the antics of someone like Charlie, and I do. Hell, while he’s off with the Goddesses living out his bitchin life, he’s probably cracking jokes about a troll like me! I have to remember though, that when I’m in the trenches, its my job to walk with the alcoholic, not against. Page 100 of Alcoholics Anonymous says “both you and the new man must walk day by day on the path of spiritual progress.” It doesn’t say anything about them knowing the secret handshake or having to like or agree with me. The whole line about “if you want what we have….” sometimes gives us a big head about what we really do have.

The BEST thing that I have is the knowledge of the gift of humility and the opportunity to help my fellow alcoholics.